Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sex and the Kitty

Hello adoring fans. I took a short break from my (A) Muse(ment) Quest in order to have some "Me Time" before the fur flies at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in NYC - September 8-15 at Lincoln Center!

During this period of self involvement, I've had a TON of FUN along the way besides the usual self indulgent behavior I am accustomed to including manicures and pedicures, haircuts, highlights, brazilian fur straightening, whisker curling, kitty yoga and deep, cathartic, transcendental meditation.

Along the way, I've met up with Martha Stewart at two events in the Hamptons - The James Beard Society's "Chefs and Champagne" gala where Martha Stewart told me I should get in touch with her people at "The Daily Wag" and at the Richard Prince Covers Pollock preview at the East Hampton's Guild Hall annual gala.

Rock star contemporary artist, Richard Prince, has a fascination with supermodels including Kate Moss and Stephanie Seymour and dead rock stars like Sid Vicious in this exhibit and I will share one photo of this outstanding exhibition with you!





Richard Prince,

Stephanie Seymour collage
Prince Covering Pollack
At Guild Hall East Hampton -- on view until October 17th

Getting back to Martha, did you also know that Martha Stewart just turned 70 years old this summer? She must have good genes because she doesn't look a day over 60 and a good looking 60 at that!



Martha Stewart

James Beard Society's 2011 Chef's and Champagne Gala
Wolffer Vineyard/Estate, Sagaponack, NY

I don't know about her knowledge of art, but I do know that she has excellent table manners and fabulous taste who appreciates a fellow style arbiter when she meets them -- especially the furry kind! After all, we're really not competing against one another! We are both trying to make the world a more beautiful place in our own distinct ways!

I must admit, one of the other reasons I laid low this summer on the blogosphere was because I had a crush on a Persian Jew like myself! I became smitten with the notion of becoming Elie Tahari's muse! It's a very long and sordid tale that involved a chance encounter at a steak house, shekels and champagne, text messages, fresh tuna fish sandwiches, dinner invitations and heavy petting!





Elie Tahari


While Elie Tahari seemed absolutely charming on the surface, the one thing I did not realize was that I wasn't the only cat he was rubbing up to. Considering how I clung on to his x's and o's and statement that "I am absolutely WONDERFUL", it was rather surprising to have him text me that he had met someone else considering the fact that he told me he wasn't emotionally available since he is recently divorced from his wife of 10 years who is 20 years his junior. I simply purrsued a friendship at his insistence. You see, I told him that I wanted to him do the calling and told him so when he asked me why. I told him because I'm a woman and he's famous and I'm not there yet. Despite that, I called him from time to time because I am a liberated pussycat and planned on making him a dinner that would have knocked his socks off - all because I love to cook and wanted to give of myself as a friend!

I wouldn't have made Elie Tahari my famous recipe for Organic Catnip Pancakes because catnip isn't in "Food Fashion" among Masters and Mistresses. I was thinking of doing something more mainstream for him like a grilled sea bass with fresh herbs, Israeli Couscous with wild mushrooms and white truffle oil and a parsnip puree -- something his core customer base would understand (maybe)!

Considering how wealthy Elie Tahari is, I was disappointed to come to the realization that the only thing he ever gave me was false hope, disappointment and a broken heart! I take friendship very seriously and as a budding supermodel, even though I may seem to be vacuous and superficial on the surface, sincerity and honesty are my hallmark character traits. So when it comes to men, even if you're just friends, the phrase, "Men who don't call, don't count" rings true loud and clear. Texting is an unacceptable form of communication!

For Pussycats in the know, Elie Tahari is known as the "Architect of Fashion". He came to NYC as an Israeli immigrant with $60 in his pocket. You see, Elie's parents abandoned him in Israel when they were divorcing and he basically lived like a "Bodega Cat" in a Chabad orphanage during his childhood. I myself was abandoned when I was shipped off to the pet store across from Bloomingdale's...that is until my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure adopted me for $1,000. So in a way, I felt really close to Elie on so many levels -- his love of fashion, architecture, contemporary art, the fact that he's a successful entrepreneur and self made, that he was abandoned and pulled himself together....this list goes on!



Bodega Cats Documentary


Upon finishing his tour of duty as a mechanic in the Israeli Air Force, Elie then came to America and slept on a park bench in Central Park when he was looking for work in the garment center or as they now call it, The Fashion District! He landed a job as an electrician and also saw there were a lot of Mistresses he could meet working in the fashion ghetto chasing tail. So he took a job at a boutique on Madison Avenue and started sewing tube tops to cater to the Studio 54/disco crowd.

From tube tops came business suits and from business suits came dresses, skirts, handbags, shoes, jewelry and menswear that does not fit my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure's cousin's body. Now he runs an empire built on the backs of designers who innovate but do not want to tweak their designs to fit mass market consumption and bridge market price points.

Take for example last year's model of couturier Azzedine Alaia's gorgeous heels that retailed for over $1,000 a pair:




Azzedine Alaia's Fab Shoes
Last Year's Model
Spring 2010
Retail: $1000 plus per pair






Elie Tahari's "Colby" Model
Fall 2011
$498 Retail


Here's a little known fact about Elie Tahari: Did you know that he JUST STARTED doing runway shows - more than 30 years after he started his business? Or that Anna Wintour, the Editor in Chief of Vogue, finally gave him press after ignoring him for DECADES?

While I have the utmost respect for Elie and what he's been able to accomplish, one has to wonder who did he pounce on in order to get where he is in life! I've been told that behind every great fortune lies a great crime. But what kind of crime is there in fashion other than bad taste like Snooki and paying off the Cosa Nostra for hangers and trucking services?




Snooki's Swan Birthday Dress
(Note Condom Sponsor in the background)


We know that Elie loves to chase tail and that's a well documented fact for people in the know before he got married. Let's hope for his sake that chasing swan tail or Snooki's tail is not his thing!! 

My quest to be (A) "Mused" has not ended by a long shot! I vow to be resilient and be a lean, mean pussycat until I fulfill my pussycat dream of world domination - just like Elie Tahari, albeit in a more cutting edge, comedic manner!





Auric Goldfinger's Pussycat
Hell Bent on World Domination

Goldfinger, James Bond

If you want to get a modified couture look at a more affordable price point, by all means visit the Elie Tahari boutique on the corner of Newtown Lane and Main Street in East Hampton New York or just go shopping at Saks, Nordstrom or Bloomingdale's, or at his newly revamped website. Virtually every Mistress has at least one of Elie's pieces, so it's really okay by me because you can mix it in with your couture pieces and no one will know the difference!

If you're unemployed, bake cookies from a recipe posted on Martha Stewart's website or one that's in one of her many fabulous magazines and sell them at the beach or in front of the tents at Lincoln Center during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week taking place September 8-15 at Lincoln Center and tell them Natasha Finkel gave you permission to do so!

And Mistresses, if you have a dream of entrepreneurship and entertainment like myself, don't give up "Hope"! Write to President Obama and ask him for your personal bailout and small business loan! After all, all of the Tarp money and back room deals should not just be going to Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Squid, Vikram Bandit of Citigroup and of course, Warren Buffet! We voted and we deserve our cut to make America rich again and support Fashion 24/7!

Until we meet again! Purrs 'n Kisses....Natasha Finkel