Friday, April 9, 2010

Liars and Tigers, Cougars and Sex Kittens -- Oh My!

Just when Tiger thought it was safe to come out of celebrity sex rehab, another sex kitten bursts on the scene - Tiger's neighbor's 22 year old daughter.

Another question: If you never want any evidence, why don't you furnish them a secret private, untraceable phone?

It's already a Baker's Dozen and we're not talking H&H.

Being a budding supermodel, for as good as those Bagels look, I cannot eat such things. Carbs are my ENEMY!

As my hero, mentor and fellow sex kitten Kate Moss so aptly says, "Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny".

Getting back to Tiger, we already have the 2010 Women of Tiger calendar.

Tiger, as a Master of the Universe, seems to like variety:

Rachel Uchitel - Mistress of Glamour, Parties and Home Wrecking

Joselyn James, Mistress of Pornography and Tasteless Breast Augmentation

And of course, Mindy Lawton

Mistress of Satisfying Breakfasts and Back Seat Romance

While we all know that it's the year of the Tiger, this truly is getting ridiculous!

There are always three sides to every story. Talk about all of the hot Cougars that have overstepped their bounds as teachers and robbed the cradle!

Wouldn't it be great if we could return to the 1960's - a simpler, more innocent time?

Speak to you later pussycats! Don't you just love the '60's? I know I do!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Cougars v. Sex Kittens 1.0

The Battle of the Sex Kittens versus the Cougars has begun. But first, I must ask: What is the difference between a Sex Kitten and a Cougar?

According to Wikipedia, a Sex Kitten is a term that typically refers to a woman who goes around with a sexually provocative approach. It also refers to women with abundant sexual aggression. The term originated circa 1958, and was used to describe French starlet Brigitte Bardot,

who appeared in the 1956 film "And God Created Woman".

It has also often been used in association with Ann-Margret

in her iconic movie role in "Kitten with a Whip".

Personally, I think Sex Kitten is a term for a sexy Pussycat or a Woman who knows how to show off her sexiness without being aggressive about it...she knows how to seduce, with or without the help of the book I wrote. A Sex Kitten knows that she's sexy and let's the men approach her because of her devastating beauty! You know that I am describing myself!

Wikipedia also mentions that a similar term has been used as early as in ancient Egypt when people would refer to their partners as kittens. Funny, but my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure didn't hear the Rabbi mention that during the torturous seder she just experienced where she had to sit next to a very aggressive Israeli man!! I need to discuss this all of this with Wikipedia. They need help. But, I digress.

According to the Urban Dictionary, a Cougar is something else entirely: Noun. A 40+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The Cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco, New York, LA or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey." Most notable Cougars include,


Demi Moore

Joan Collins

and, of course, Susan Sarandon.

All of this makes me wonder why Plymouth named their muscle car a Cougar in 1967. The cars were made for men to conquer, not the other way around!

40 seems to be the new magic number for Cougar status, but some people say that 40 is the new I'm really getting confused! My friend and adoring fan, Amy Ferris, author of "Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Mid Life Crisis", thinks that 50 is absolutely fabulous. According to the Urban Dictionary, those women would be referred to as Sabre Tooth Tigers. I, however, do not subscribe to labels (I only wear them as a budding supermodel) and firmly believe that women are fabulous at every age. I'm sure that Amy would too!

In fact, Amy's attending a lecture today at Barnes and Noble by her friend and fellow author, Barbara Hannah Grufferman on her new book, "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More" on East 86th Street and Lexington Avenue at 7PM. I may just join her even though I'm not even close to that age. I just adore Amy!!!

To be continued pussycats!