Liars and Tigers, Cougars and Sex Kittens -- Oh My!

Just when Tiger thought it was safe to come out of celebrity sex rehab, another sex kitten bursts on the scene - Tiger's neighbor's 22 year old daughter.



Another question: If you never want any evidence, why don't you furnish them a secret private, untraceable phone?





It's already a Baker's Dozen and we're not talking H&H.



Being a budding supermodel, for as good as those Bagels look, I cannot eat such things. Carbs are my ENEMY!




As my hero, mentor and fellow sex kitten Kate Moss so aptly says, "Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny".


Getting back to Tiger, we already have the 2010 Women of Tiger calendar.


Tiger, as a Master of the Universe, seems to like variety:

Rachel Uchitel - Mistress of Glamour, Parties and Home Wrecking

Joselyn James, Mistress of Pornography and Tasteless Breast Augmentation

And of course, Mindy Lawton

Mistress of Satisfying Breakfasts and Back Seat Romance

While we all know that it's the year of the Tiger, this truly is getting ridiculous!

There are always three sides to every story. Talk about all of the hot Cougars that have overstepped their bounds as teachers and robbed the cradle!

Wouldn't it be great if we could return to the 1960's - a simpler, more innocent time?

Speak to you later pussycats! Don't you just love the '60's? I know I do!

Cougars v. Sex Kittens 1.0

The Battle of the Sex Kittens versus the Cougars has begun. But first, I must ask: What is the difference between a Sex Kitten and a Cougar?


According to Wikipedia, a Sex Kitten is a term that typically refers to a woman who goes around with a sexually provocative approach. It also refers to women with abundant sexual aggression. The term originated circa 1958, and was used to describe French starlet Brigitte Bardot,



who appeared in the 1956 film "And God Created Woman".



It has also often been used in association with Ann-Margret



in her iconic movie role in "Kitten with a Whip".



Personally, I think Sex Kitten is a term for a sexy Pussycat or a Woman who knows how to show off her sexiness without being aggressive about it...she knows how to seduce, with or without the help of the book I wrote. A Sex Kitten knows that she's sexy and let's the men approach her because of her devastating beauty! You know that I am describing myself!




Wikipedia also mentions that a similar term has been used as early as in ancient Egypt when people would refer to their partners as kittens. Funny, but my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure didn't hear the Rabbi mention that during the torturous seder she just experienced where she had to sit next to a very aggressive Israeli man!! I need to discuss this all of this with Wikipedia. They need help. But, I digress.

According to the Urban Dictionary, a Cougar is something else entirely: Noun. A 40+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The Cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco, New York, LA or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey." Most notable Cougars include,

Madonna

Demi Moore

Joan Collins

and, of course, Susan Sarandon.

All of this makes me wonder why Plymouth named their muscle car a Cougar in 1967. The cars were made for men to conquer, not the other way around!

40 seems to be the new magic number for Cougar status, but some people say that 40 is the new 30...so I'm really getting confused! My friend and adoring fan, Amy Ferris, author of "Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Mid Life Crisis", thinks that 50 is absolutely fabulous. According to the Urban Dictionary, those women would be referred to as Sabre Tooth Tigers. I, however, do not subscribe to labels (I only wear them as a budding supermodel) and firmly believe that women are fabulous at every age. I'm sure that Amy would too!

In fact, Amy's attending a lecture today at Barnes and Noble by her friend and fellow author, Barbara Hannah Grufferman on her new book, "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More" on East 86th Street and Lexington Avenue at 7PM. I may just join her even though I'm not even close to that age. I just adore Amy!!!

To be continued pussycats!

Fat Cats

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week is well underway. I've been in such a frenzy preparing for the shows making sure my stomp is just right and going for tons of "go sees" as well as managing my hectic schedule with my bookers.

Being a slim, beautiful and uber lean pussycat takes a lot of hard work. The pressure to keep a slim trim figure is all important in today's modeling world - whether you are a pussycat or a Mistress of Beauty and Glamour. Given my hairball issues, I can totally relate to the struggles of my kitty cat peers and those Mistresses - in terms of what they must contend with to maintain a size zero or two sample size and stick thin appearance where their arms resemble noodles and their heads look like bobbleheads.

With that said, there is a place for every shape and size of model. Take Helga Crittendorfer for example. Helga has been at the top of the plus size pussycat modeling world for years and elegantly demonstrates that there are many different types of beauty.

Helga Crittendorfer

Plus sized models seem to be gaining notoriety and respect in the business given the backlash against models that are impossibly thin. In the January "Size" issue of V, Crystal Renn, plus size supermodel extraordinaire was posed side by side with Jacquelyn Jablonski (a size 2 model) via Models.com

Jacquelyn Jablonski shot by Terry Richardson

Crystal Renn shot by Terry Richardson

Superstar plus size model Crystal Renn was recently interviewed in the New York Times about this matter. She said, "Normal is the new overweight."

Not to be mean, but honestly, I don't want to look at fat models in the magazines. I don't think that models should be so impossibly thin, but some of these plus size models look like they've been on steroids for far too long!

Speaking of Fat Cats, there are plenty of them hanging around the tents at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Those people at Goldman Sachs really have a lot of nerve! Just because they stole the US economy and that of Greece and probably Portugal, Italy and Spain too, does it give them and sleazy shadow banker hedge fund jerks the right to enter the tents? Do they really think that Models of the pussycat world and Mistresses of the Beauty and Glamour world are that stupid? I think we need to protest! I can't speak for the other models, but I'm an intellectual and never suffer a fool!

Protesters outside of Goldman Sachs Headquarters -- Alex Wong/Getty Images

I say, let's give PETA the boot and get the anti Goldman protesters on board! We need our economy back so we can buy FASHION and get back to work! Because this year at the tents and on the party circuit, I heard someone say that "Austerity is the new Black!" And we all know that the world of Fashion is completely predicated on EXCESS!!

Just ask Tyra's Miss Jay....He looked bored in the tents this year!

Here's another concept: Why did America's favorite billionaire, St. Warren Buffett, choose to invest billions in Goldman Sachs as opposed to saving any of the other too big to fail financial institutions? What did he know and when did he know it? Can you spell COVER UP?

This could be bigger than Watergate!

My friend, David Caploe, PHD, the Princeton and Harvard educated Political Economist at Economywatch.com discusses this "800 lb Gorilla in the Room" matter in great detail. There are some very interesting questions posed indeed that the mainstream media has completely overlooked.

Well, adoring fans, I must head off to some post show parties. I promise to write in soon with more exciting news!

Chilling and Stretching

Hello adoring fans! It's been a whirlwind week....you see, my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure celebrated her birthday and all hell broke loose in the Hamptons! First I put her to work cleaning out my litter box so the home would show nicely for potential renters.




Then, she discovered that there was no water in the house. So she invited a strange man over to the house who inspected her very cramped and "tight" crawl space very carefully with a flood light for cob webs and proceeded to prime her well pump to make sure that the water would start flowing.







Unfortunately, the well pump required more work for him to get it going and he had to work for hours on the project to get the water flowing. It was a very noisy affair I must say and the rest is now history! Oops...she tells me that I am not allowed to tell anymore stories about her exploits. Some people are just no fun!

Speaking of fun, my Mistress took me for a day of beauty at the world famous Gurney's Inn and Spa in Montauk, NY. She felt that I was stressing out too much over this lack of water issue and that I needed some serious rejuvenation before Fashion Week! So we did a mother/daughter day of beauty of sorts!





One of the best kept secrets of the Hamptons is Gurney's Day Pass. For $30 per person or per cat, you get to use the facilities of this world class resort that specializes in Thalasso therapy.




Gurney's usually doesn't allow Persians full access to the Spa, but they are trying to spur business among the budding supermodel set! It's a good thing I insisted on bringing my Bunny Couture bikini because I love going in the unisex heated indoor salt water pool!





Thalasso therapy is sea water therapy and Gurney's is the only true Thalasso therapy facility in the entire United States! Sea water has remarkable properties. Sea water contains 120 chemical compounds in the form of salts and dissolved gases. It is very rich in vitamins, minerals and trace elements in very similar proportions to the human blood plasma. It also contains microorganisms that produce antibiotic, antiviral and antibacterial substances. Sea water is heated to 82 degrees in Gurneys' indoor pool, and 94 degrees in their hydrotherapy baths to optimize exchanges with the body. The effect is that the body recharges itself with minerals and trace elements, therefore detoxifying and re-balancing all body functions.

Seaweed, the crop of the sea, has an even greater concentration of sea water minerals, and provides a virtual pharmacy of beneficial elements.

The sea air, rich in negative ions and sea minerals plays a very special part in the Thalasso therapy program. Beach walking at the edge of the sea promotes the inhalation of the minerals, which are then absorbed through the lungs directly into the blood stream. The high concentration of negative ions, which is so characteristic of a healthy climate, contributes to the vitalization of the body. Plus, if you ask me, the beach is like one giant sandbox just waiting to be explored by me!

Another important element of Thalasso therapy is aquatic exercise. Exercise in the heated sea water pool allows for movement and flexibility not available on land. The increase in hydrostatic pressure against the body increases circulation, stimulates the kidneys and promotes digestion. One cannot say one has experienced Thalasso therapy without doing water aerobics!

This is totally different than the Russian holy water experience!






I just love going in the super heated roman baths, the swiss shower, eucalyptus steam room, the salt water pool and of course using the gym so I can keep my buttocks toned! My Mistress also treated me to an anti-aging, oxygen facial. She's really the best!











We're also looking into going away for a real week or two of indulgence. Our friend, Ivy Markaity, does a yoga retreat for Mistresses, Mistresses of Beauty and Adventure and Mistresses of Beauty and Fashion at a luxe Estancia just a few hours outside of Buenos Aires.






We may go for a yoga weekend and wine tasting affair after Fashion Week. Ivy just informed me that she is also hosting a yoga retreat for pussycats - hosted by her hunky cat Piggy who comes from an esteemed family of Acrobats who have worked for Cirque du Soleil. The first weekend starts February 19th through the 21st at The Estancia La Oriental.






In case you don't know, Piggy has perfected some brand new yoga poses including the Crouching Tiger and the Lion pose! So if you're sick of the downward dog position and want some equal time, this could be the purrrfect place for you to chill with your Mistress!

Well, that's all for now and I look forward to touching base with all of you very soon!

Uni-Tasking and Getting into a Pickle!

I'm sorry for the delay my adoring fans, however I've had too much going on. Between casting calls, practicing my pussycat strut for Fashion Week, going on fact finding missions to learn what goes on and having hairball attacks to keep my figure slim, it's really been a bit much!

I've recently gotten an IPhone and I'm concerned about all of the radiation that it emits. That's why, in the spirit of "Uni-Tasking" and good health, I have ordered the art model handset from a company called YUBZ (pronounced why-yoo-bi-zee). The thing I LOVE about this handset is that people know you are on the phone and know better than to disturb you! In this case and in all cases, SIZE DOES MATTER! And when you're not using it, just throw it over your mane and shoulder....it will look like a real fashion accessory and a great item for self defense purposes should you take the NYC subway in the evening!



In case you don't have a clue as to what "Uni-Tasking" is in this day and age, well here it is: It is the act of getting something done while focusing completely on the task at hand. Isn't that completely novel in today's world? Ever notice how you don't get that much done when you can't focus clearly on one thing? Don't you find it incredibly annoying when people expect you to do 5 things at once? Doesn't your food burn when you're cooking, talking on the phone, having hot sex, cleaning out your closets and typing a dissertation on world peace simultaneously? Well, at least it does for this pussycat!

Getting back to the fact finding mission I've been on in regard to NY Fashion Week, I went to visit my adoring fan, Hillary Flowers, fashion designer, singer, songwriter and retail collective diva for her namesake fashion boutique located at 40 Clinton Street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.



Before I got to her boutique, I was starving! So what's a pussycat to do? She stops at the world famous Katz's Deli, named after my kind of people, KATZ!




While at Katz's, I couldn't resist eating a full up Pastrami sandwich, some Dr. Brown's Black Cherry soda (diet of course) and a ton of 1/2 Sour Kosher Pickles. MMMMMM! Just what the Vet had ordered. I puked enough hairballs this week...so how could anything possibly go wrong?



Well, as I was walking to Hillary Flowers' boutique at 40 Clinton Street, I just couldn't understand why my shoes were pinching my paws so tightly. They were so comfortable when I bought them. Mia Morgan had warned me about the sample size issue during the shows because of the tufts of fur I have and the size of my paws versus sample size, but this was INSANE! I had no idea why my beautiful new Christian Louboutin shoes were killing me!



Well, I limped over to Hillary Flowers' store and she graciously let me sit down. Much to my chagrin, when we looked at my paws, I had never seen such horrible BLISTERS before! Hillary was kind enough to explain the finer points of water retention being the beautiful woman that she is! She explained that if I wanted to strut in her show or any other show for that matter, I need to make sure I am on a low sodium diet. Otherwise, my feet will be huge and my stomach even bigger!

Hillary's boutique is what is called a fashion coop or collective -- a bunch of designers are selected by Hillary to participate in showing their merchandise and helping out at the shop. My favorite ready to wear designer was Tamara Pogosian. Tamara does young, sophisticated, chic, elegant and luxe to a tee. Tamara is clearly a fashion force to be reckoned with.



Tamara has been nominated two years in a row by the Fashion Group International for their Rising Star Awards! So I'm not taking full credit for this scoop!



Her dresses were super flattering in silk charmeuse and the coats were made of the softest alpaca with most gorgeous detailing. And now, Tamara's collection is on sale! You'd better get over to Hillary Flowers boutique fast, because I might just buy everything myself!

Hadasity by Hadassah Lau was another artist's line whose work I found to be especially outstanding. Hadassah Lau's jewelry line Hadasity is made of wound up wire and semi precious gemstones and some vintage elements. Hadassah's work has even been featured in Marie Claire, a feat for an up and coming jewelry designer! I wonder how a girl from Singapore ended up with a name like Hadassah! Note to self: I need to ask her about this one!



Hillary Flowers has thought of everything: To make the shop even more unique, there's a mix of vintage pieces and new pieces from up and coming designers. It's like the best of both worlds, with a vintage sale rack for under $50! And if you come in now, Hillary will give you a special gift of jewelry (your choice from a special collection) with a purchase of over $50. Just don't ask for her diamond ring, because that's just not happening!

Hillary Flowers will be having a fashion show for another one of her designers, Peach Beserk, at Amnesia on January 22nd with a pop icon theme. Hillary's boutique is located at 40 Clinton Street between Stanton and Rivington. Her boutique is open from 1-8 Tuesday through Sunday (except holidays) and can be reached at(212) 673-0380 I look forward to stomping for Hillary in this show...so stay tuned!

Budding Supermodel Intervention 1.0

As part of my ongoing quest to progress to be the top Supermodel of the Pussycat World from that of a Budding one, I went to visit my dear friend and adoring fan, Mia Morgan.

In case you don't know who Mia is, that must mean you are not truly a fashion insider. She is one uber cool Mistress of Glamour and Fashion! Mia Morgan is a Personal Stylist to the Stars -- too famous to mention here on this blog! In addition, she has styled photo shoots for Nicole Kidman, Beyonce, Julianna Margulies, Debra Messing, Eva Mendez and many others famous Mistresses of Glamour and Talent. She has also worked exclusively with celebrity photographer to the stars, Timothy White, styling Hollywood luminaries including Kate Hudson, Gina Gershon, Susan Sarandon, Vanessa Williams, Molly Sims and many others for retro pin up shots in the cocktail table book, "Hollywood Pin Ups" by Timothy White published by Harper Collins.

As if that's not enough, she recently worked as the Stylist for the cover of the December 2009 Brazilian edition of L'Officiel that featured Superstar Model and Socialite Lydia Hearst on its the cover.



She also recently worked as the Stylist for the cover of one of my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure's favorite fashion/lifestyle magazines, Surface in its 15th Anniversary Issue that debuted last September.



Mia also has two incredibly interesting, handsome, eligible, intelligent and talented pussycats named Sheriff and Mr. Pink - both Cornish Rex's.

Sheriff aka Biggie

Mr. Pink

I think I might want to date Sheriff/aka Biggie. He's not only a Professor of History and Philosophy at Columbia University, he is a Champion Polo Player and a consummate, award winning Equestrian Jumper and a real snuggler! Plus, he has a Mercedes Convertible! That's what we in the Pussycat world call a catch! But I digress!

Natasha Finkel: What goes on behind the scenes at Fashion Shows?

Mia Morgan: Absolute mayhem Natasha! But before we get to the actual show, fashion designers and their preferred stylists have what we call in the business, a casting call. At the casting call, the models try on designer clothing and are asked to walk in 7" high stillettos - very high heels, sometimes with platforms! Their walk must be EXCELLENT, you must not trip and the sample size must fit like a glove! Polariods are taken and then the models are selected. This is true in the Mistress of Beauty and Glamour world as well as in the Pussycat world!

Natasha Finkel: What does it take to become a Supermodel in the Pussycat world?

Mia Morgan: Natasha...you are a budding Supermodel, but, I need to see you walk!

Natasha Finkel: OK! How is this?

Mia Morgan: In an upcoming show that you are going to be possibly cast for, you are up against Fiona Fumenheimer, the German Supermodel of the Pussycat world who reeks of Animale fragrance at every show! You know exactly who I'm talking about! She models for Victoria's Secret! I don't mean to be too critical, but the fashion business and the modeling business are ultra competitive, sometimes even catty! You need to perfect your turn! I'm also highly concerned that your paw size is too big because the tufts of fur between your claws are going to fill up the shoes we're using in the show. I'm concerned that your paws will be 1/2 size too big for the shoes you have to wear and you will be in terrible pain stomping down the catwalk!

When we do the rehearsals and line up, you need to focus on looking your absolute best with shoes that are really pinching you tight! You also need to make certain that you do not slow the model dresser down, because that could screw up the timing of the show. There are DJ's playing music and all of the models must step to the beat and progress in the line, in time!

Natasha Finkel: I see!

Mia: You see Natasha, it's truly mayhem behind the scenes! You need to have your fur and make up done really quickly, many models get there barely in time (rushing from show to show), nerves are FRAYED!!!! So you'd better have a tough skin because it's a very tough business!

Natasha Finkel: Anything else?

Mia Morgan: Yes. There's a certain X Factor when it comes to becoming a Supermodel - whether you are a Pussycat or a Mistress of Beauty and Glamour! So if I were you, I'd:

1. Grow your fur out for a really dramatic look. Big manes are really in these days, just like the '80's. Perhaps some fur extensions will do the trick!

2. Perfect your turn and "smize" (smile with your eyes) just like Tyra says at the end of the catwalk!

3. To make it as a Supermodel, it's also about your personality and the way you carry yourself and the way you move! It's also about your transformation and journey!

So, if I were you, I'd elongate your neck a little more and improve your posture! You have a tendency to hunch up your back and you need to remind yourself NOT TO DO THAT! Also, be sure to maintain eye contact with the audience when you reach the end of the catwalk and STOP! You want to sell the clothing you're wearing and give the photographers enough time to take your picture! Do not turn too fast....Pause for about 3-4 seconds and count that in your head!

A few more things: You must make sure you enjoy having make up applied and that you are brushed properly before the show, your fur properly cut and groomed with no split ends or matts and no roots if you get highlights! You must make sure you show up to the show with CLEAN CLAWS. I've heard people say that there's nothing more disgusting than a model showing up with dirty claws! It's unprofessional and you may not get booked again!

Natasha Finkel: Really, I HATE BEING BRUSHED AND I DON'T LIKE HAVING MY CLAWS CUT!

Mia Morgan: Well, if you really want to make it in the business Natasha, you need to do all of these things! So be a big girl, buck up and be a tough pussycat!

Natasha Finkel: Wow Mia! You've given me some really wonderful advice. I guess I was too close to it because I thought I looked just fabulous and that everyone was in absolute awe of my natural beauty!

Mia Morgan: You have some work to do, but you do have tremendous potential! Even supermodels have to practice! A few more tips to remember Natasha: YOU MUST SHOW UP ON TIME! NO HANG OVERS, NO PUFFY EYES AND YOUR CLAWS MUST NOT BE TOO LONG! NO BARFING OF HAIRBALLS BEFORE THE SHOW AND, YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOU MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEAN WEIGHT AT ALL TIMES!

Natasha Finkel: Thank you for all of those tips Mia. You have given me insight that I could never have known! By the way, who are your dream fashion designers that you'd like to style for?

Mia Morgan: John Galliano, Balenciaga and Marc Jacobs.

Natasha Finkel: Have you even seen fur fly behind the stage at Fashion Week?

Mia Morgan: I don't kiss and tell. That my dear, is an industry secret that you must experience for yourself!

Natasha Finkel: Have you ever done fashion shoots with Pussycats?

Mia Morgan: As a matter of fact I have. With my darling boys Sheriff aka Biggie and Mr. Pink. In fact, they posed with a Tony award winning actress from Broadway!

Natasha Finkel: Do you want to expand your business in the Pussycat modeling world?

Mia Morgan: I'm open to expanding in that direction. Perhaps doing a book of pin up style supermodel Pussycats as a follow up to the book I worked on with Timothy White! And of course, there are always shoots, fashion shows and celebrity Pussycats to work with too!

Natasha Finkel: Are there any events that you'd like to share with my readers? You have such a cool, action packed life!

Mia Morgan: As a matter of fact I do Natasha. New York Magazine is sponsoring a Red Carpet event, a retrospective, celebrating the life of my best friend, Zelda Kaplan, on February 24, 2010. I'll be able to provide you with more details on it at a later date. The price of the ticket will range between $35 and $50 so I'm told. Perhaps you can come! Do you know who Zelda Kaplan is Natasha?

Natasha Finkel: No.

Mia Morgan: Here's a video of her with clips from The Jay Leno Show!

Natasha Finkel: Absolutely! I'd love to come! Thank you for inviting me Mia, I am honored! Oh and one more thing: How does someone book you?

Mia Morgan: Have them call my manager, David Guc at Vanguard Management at 212-544-7700.

Natasha Finkel: Thank so you much for your time and insight Mia! It truly has been a pleasure! Your insight has been absolutely invaluable to me! I'll see you at the party! Be sure to send me an invitation! I'm brimming with excitement over that event!