Spank Me It's My Birthday

Well, it's that time of the year again, my birthday, July 16 is coming up-- a day that I've grown to dread, a day that most Mistresses and Masters celebrate themselves. Dread? Because I only have a limited amount of time to make it in my career as a supermodel before I'm considered to be a saber tooth tiger in the modeling business! Youth culture plays a majorly important role in terms of one's shelf life as a model and certainly in Hollywood and even the music business! This is true for pussycat models and Mistresses of Beauty and Glamour, Mistresses of Musicality and Theatrics as well as Mistresses to the Rich and Famous. The only exception to the rule I can think of is Carmen Dell'Orifice, who has had the longest running career in fashion -- 66 years and just turned 80 years old this past June!

Carmen Dell'Orifice

Photographer: Ruven Afanador

Vanity Fair Italia, March 2011 issue

Carmen is proof positive that beauty exists at every age. She's been a supermodel since the age of 15 and has been the muse to iconic artists and fashion designers including Salvador Dali and Louis Dell'Olio formerly of Anne Klein. Carmen was just recently working the catwalk, modeling for none other than Alberta Ferretti.

Carmen Dell'Orefice for Alberta Ferretti

Carmen Dell'Orifice has been through a lot in her long career and life, having been married 3 times, losing all of her life savings twice: the first time to the stock market in the '80's and 1990's and the second time to Bernard Madoff's ponzi scheme. She landed her first Vogue magazine cover at the tender age of 15 - one of the youngest Vogue cover models ever and has been photographed by almost every luminary photographer in the business including, Irving Penn, Gleb Durujinsky, Francesco Scavullo, Melvin Sokolsky, Norman Parkinson and Richard Avedon. Carmen, I have a lot of respect for you as a Mistress of Beauty and Glamour as well as an icon of beauty, fashion and fortitude! You are truly an amazing woman and have more than 9 lives just like I do!

After learning more about Carmen Dell'Orefice and her legacy, I have vowed that I will no longer treat my birthday as a reason to be sad or even celebrate it for a week like some Mistresses do. I vow to make this birthday my Birthday Year -- by celebrating life every day and making the most of even the most difficult situations!

Which brings me to my latest jaunt in Manhattan through what we in the business call the "Garment Center", also known as the Fashion District in Midtown Manhattan. I was catting around on the street one day and happened upon the most fantastic and provocative T-Shirt that said, "Spank Me...It's My Birthday!" It's a bit more fashionable than the one that's pictured here, but you get the point! This one is a recession friendly $16 available here:

Spank Me It's My Birthday Wife Beater T-Shirt

And speaking of spanking, did you know that some pussycats enjoy this very thing? There's a whole phenomenon of cats and Masters and Mistresses who truly enjoy doing this sort of thing to their cats and even to themselves! And it doesn't even need to be their birthdays or their pussycat's birthdays either!

Kitty Spanking Video

The place that my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure loves and that I love too is Kiki de Montparnasse located at 79 Greene Street in SOHO and 8280 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles. She likes their lingerie and luxury lifestyle products very much. However, my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure doesn't subscribe to kitten spanking or the other kind either. Considering how much that pussycat loved it, I feel like I'm missing out on something! I'll have to ask her about that!

The luxury lifestyle and lingerie emporium, Kiki de Montparnasse, is inspired by the life of Alice Ernestine Prin (2 October 1901 – 29 April 1953), nicknamed Queen of Montparnasse, known as Kiki de Montparnasse in art circles. According to Wikipedia, she was a French artist, artist's model, nightclub singer, actress, memoirist, and painter. She flourished in, and helped define, the liberated, early 1920s culture of Paris. Adopting a single name, "Kiki", she became a fixture in the Montparnasse social scene and a popular artist model, posing for dozens of artists, including Chaim Soutine,Jean Cocteau, Arno Breker, Alexander Calder, Per Krohg, Hermine David, Pablo Gargallo, Mayo, and Tono Salazar.

Le Violon d'Ingres by Man Ray

Kiki's companion for most of the 1920s was Man Ray, who made hundreds of portraits of her. She is the subject of some of his best-known images, including the notable surrealist image Le Violon d'Ingres pictured above and Noire et Blanche, pictured below.

Noire et Blanche photograph by Man Ray

Kiki de Montparnasse, was created by designer Jennifer Zuccarini and co-founded by Andrew Pollard - the man who re-energized Miss Sixty, Energie, Killah and Sixty clothing brands in the U.S . Kiki de Montparnasse, the luxury fashion and lifestyle brand has garnered widespread recognition and insider fashion acclaim and has freestanding stores in the US an international wholesale business and a successful online store. Kiki de Montparnasse is also a personal favorite of Hollywood celebrities Dita Von Teese, Amy Sacco and Jessica Simpson! To learn more about the brand, read here!

Dita Von Teese

Mistress of Seduction and Modern Burlesque Performance

Here are some of my favorite looks from the Kiki de Montparnasse collection

Kiki "Muse" Satin Brassiere

Kiki de Montparnasse Ingenue Corset pant available on sale here!

Kiki de Montparnasse's classic and elegant, "French Maid"

And speaking of maids, have you heard of the scandal that Dominique Strauss Kahn, the now former President of the International Monetary Fund and French presidential hopeful was involved in?

Dominique Strauss-Kahn

Former Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund

and Former French Presidential Hopeful

According to today's New York Post, Dominique refused to pay his "lady of the night" for services rendered and that's what the brouhaha was all about. The chambermaid secretly performed extra services in addition to room cleaning through her local Union at the Sofitel hotel in midtown Manhattan and then went to the police accusing DSK of rape. DSK has spent over $250,000 on security and rent to stay at a luxury townhouse in Tribeca to be kept under house arrest. Now Cyrus Vance Jr., the NYC's District Attorney has released him on $1M bail but his case is falling apart by the second.

I don't know pussycats, but this story gets more intriguing and comical by the moment. My thoughts are that Masters of the Universe who are "happily" married to heiress wives and work in public positions should think twice about using an immigrant chambermaid from Guinea who lives in AIDS housing for free as an escort. Beyond that, perhaps, these Masters of the Universe shouldn't be married at all if their wives aren't wearing Kiki De Montparnasse lingerie and satisfying them at home!

In order to get yourself and possibly your partner excited if you have one with a pulse, or, to simply get the look of an upscale french chambermaid, unlike Dominique Strauss Kahn's, please visit the Kiki De Montparnasse store at 79 Greene Street in Manhattan or in Los Angeles at 8580 Melrose Avenue and tell them Natasha Finkel sent you! For hours, call 212- 965-8070 in New York or 323-951-9545. See you later pussycats. Now on to July 4th celebrations in the Hamptons! Purrs 'n Kisses and happy Independence Day! Meow!

Dinner with the Chassids

Adoring fans, I must apologize. I've been going through a very dark period in my life for a variety of reasons and withdrew from the blogosphere as a result. You see, last year my agent informed me that Persian cats are no longer in vogue in the pussycat modeling world and I've been struggling to re-invent my career and way of being.

As the venerable Mistress of Beauty, Fashion, Victoria's Secret Angeldom and Supermodeldom Heidi Klum says every time on her show Project Runway, "In Fashion, You Eida In, or you Out!" Because German, as everyone knows, is the international language of fashion! But please don't tell that to the French, because that will get you into hot water!





Well, I've been struggling with this for a year. The girls at Kitty Wigs, who specialize in short haired fashion models of the pussy cat world - you know, like the pretty Siamese and domestic short haired pussy cats have been giving me a real run for my money with their kitty wigs, pictorials and poses.


Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs by Julie Jackson, photographed by Jill Johnson














As you can see, some of these short haired girls have serious talent, but I can't, as a long furred Persian cat, change my tiger stripes or my trademarked mane. I am who I am and I can only adapt. Unemployment is high, print shoots are becoming a bit more scarce, advertising in the fashion magazines are down and the Kindle is replacing the printed book -- so all of these issues have been a major factor in the stalling of what is, a budding career as a supermodel! I am determined to succeed and refuse to let the whims of fashion and economic factors dictate casting decisions and my career aspirations. After all, this is my life! I was born to be a budding supermodel in the pussycat world among other things like singing soul music, starring in the movies, creating a top selling fashion brand and writing a hot newsletter for fashion addicts, pussy cat lovers and hipsters who love satire, irony and comedy!

All of this led to me the Chabad House of East Hampton last Friday for Shabbat services. I needed to get some "religion" and bring me closer to G-d to give me hope and a bit of solace. You see, to paraphrase President Obama's famous April 2008 quote when he was on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania, "When things get tough, they cling to their guns and their religion....in order to explain their frustrations."





Well, President Obama, I have news for you - I don't cling to guns but find spiritual awakenings and solace in G-d to be something that is very nurturing for me. Your wife Michelle may think she's some kind of "fashion icon", but every up and coming, nascent fashion designer that she's worn has gone straight out of business. So much for your star power and your husbands economic policies! The New York Times even made a point of this in an article about Michelle's style.

Michelle Obama's Fashion Disaster "Victory" dress by Narcisso Rodriguez

My Mistress of Beauty and Adventure was a big fan of Tracey Feith - and as soon as Michelle wore his dresses, the poor designer went out of business. Contrary to what you may think about your wife, Barack Obama, fashion icon or NOT, Michelle Obama really is the kiss of death for talented fashion designers.

Michelle Obama in Tracey Feith (RIP Fabulous Fashion Brand!)

Back to Chabad House, Hats and Chassidic style -- the interesting thing is that Chabadnics cannot take their hats off in public. This is just one of the 613 commandments that we as Jews are instructed to do in deference to our G-d. That rule is for the men only...but we're here to talk about fashion so I shouldn't digress anymore. Chabad people tend to dress in a very specific way....which almost always includes a Borsolino hat. The one that the Chassids wear is very similar to the Ombra model pictured here:




These hats are not inexpensive -- the Ombra model is made of pure fur felt and is available for $375.00 at the J.J. Hat Center of New York - New York's oldest hat shop established in 1911 which located at 310 Fifth Avenue. They also sell other really cool brands of hats and are well worth checking out in person or via their catalogue or online store.


The Chassidic look is quite unique -- so much so that Jean Paul Gaultier memorialized this look on the couture runway a few years back as an ode to Chassidic Jews entitled, "Rabbi Chic" in the Fall/Winter collections of 1993/1994 in Paris. Check out the videos!! Some people thought this was done as a nasty jab, others saw the beauty in it. I myself, see it as interesting inspiration from a designer perspective. After all, Jean Paul Gaultier wants to sell beautiful clothes and Chassidics have a very unique style all unto their own!

Jean Paul Gaultier - "Rabbi Chic" collection Fall/Winter 1993/1994 - Part I

Jean Paul Gaultier - "Rabbi Chic" collection, Fall Winter 1993/1994 - Part II

Which brings me to another topic, my Mistress of Beauty and Adventure's former hero, John Galliano.



John Galliano was a brilliant fashion designer for Mistresses of Beauty and Adventure, Mistresses of the Masters of the Universe and anyone who knows anything about French fashion. The problem is that he was drunk and made some very nasty comments in public about Jews that were highly illegal and less than flattering.




I don't know whether you've seen the press, but it landed John Galliano straight into the unemployment line (he was fired from Christian Dior, denounced by Christian Dior's beautiful, elegant and multi-talented Jewish spokesmodel, Natalie Portman), sent straight to celebrity rehab and had to appear in a French Court!

My other bible is called Women's Wear Daily. It is known in the fashion industry as "Fashion's Bible" as it is the leading authority on all things fashion! In a recent issue, Women's Wear Daily reported that John claimed he was under too much pressure from his collections and that's why he said he "Loved Hitler". I don't know pussy cats.....but I think that alcohol is a form of truth serum. But I'll let you decide for yourselves! You can blame the system all you want, but as an adult, one must take responsibility for one's behavior!

To get the look of Chabad or just to be chic, please visit J.J. Hats of 310 Fifth Avenue. It's a fashion insider place that only I, Natasha Finkel, can fill you in on! You can always buy Jean Paul Gaultier at Bergdorf Goodman, Barneys and any other hip specialty store. Or, you can visit his designer atelier in Paris if you're up for a transatlantic trip! Purrs and kisses! xoxo